Fertility Health Coach

The Two Week Wait Marathon

Day 5 - Transfer day (Tues)

My transfer was scheduled for midday, perfect timing really. It meant I could sleep in, do an hour of energetic yoga, eat a warming and nourishing breakfast, and then my final acupuncture appointment. During the acupuncture I fell asleep (could I get anymore relaxed?) and then walking over to the IVF clinic I started to get excitement butterflies, the first I’d had because up until that point I’d been shit scared.

This is the 6th embryo transfer we’ve done. I’d take you through every transfer that came before but I can’t be bothered remembering. I know there was two that I thought were guaranteed to get me pregnant - grade A embryos and I’d done everything perfectly. The others, I had my doubts due to poor embryo quality.

The transfer was a breeze. We have a grade 4AA hatching blast and a grade 4CA (which I’m told still has possibilities but not as likely). I love this new clinic, the nurses talk to me! (shock horror) and they are really sweet. They call the embryos my babies and tell me that their clinic has a special good luck spell on it because they have so much success. When I leave they hug me and seem excited about the outcome in a couple of weeks. I need this.

The rest of the day involves lounging around on the couch, answering some work emails and making a chicken pie for dinner. I’m feeling really optimistic the more I think about the hatching blast - it’s an embryo that has survived so much already and has progressed further than any other

embyro we’ve transferred. This could be the one :-)

Day 6 - one day post transfer (Weds)

Today I have a coffee date (I’ll be drinking peppermint tea) with a woman who has adopted from Ethiopia. I set this meeting up a while back because I wanted to remind myself that there are other options if these embryos fail.

Dan’s not happy with me leaving the house, he thinks I should be resting completely. I think the underlying issue is that he doesn’t understand why I’m considering adoption when we have such a good chance at having our own child with this embryo transfer. But the reason I’m doing it is so I have something to hold onto if it fails. The thing that’s kept me going every time I get a negative pregnancy test is what we do next, which up until now has been another round of IVF.

We’ve made the decision not to do any more IVF after this one because of the financial and emotional tax, how long do you keep throwing money at something that’s not working? so there’s a lot riding on this one.

There are plenty of other options to consider as well as adoption - donors, surrogate - but these are not guaranteed to give us a baby, plus they cost bucket loads. Adoption is not guaranteed either I know, but there is a much higher chance of ending up with a baby, and the cost is less than donors or surrogates.

I was happy to get out of the house to meet the lady and her beautiful Ethiopian boy, cause the rest of the day I was housebound. More work, more daydreaming about what might be, and an afternoon nap. I’m still feeling very optimistic and I’ve stopped myself from googling anything to do with IVF. I know I’m doing all the right things, only eating cooked food, lots of room temp water and taking all my sups and meds religiously. Now it’s up to the fertility gods…

Day 9 (Saturday)

Yesterday morning the anxiety started. Same as every other 2 week wait, the first few days are hopeful and exciting, then I start waking up early in the morning with an anxious knot in my stomach. Actually it feels like the anxiety is housed in my uterus (which makes me even more scared its effecting the embryos). I lie in bed and practice my deep breathing and happy thoughts but it’s really hard to release the tension, I have to really focus on it. Usually it goes away once I get up and get going with my day.

This morning it was quite bad so I got up, lay on the daybed and did some audio hypnotherapy and now I’m writing this. I feel better, the knot is subsiding. But I know the closer to test day the worst it gets, I’ll need some heavy duty stress relief to get through this.

Day 10 (Sunday)

As far as the embryo timeline goes, implantation should have happened by now. If 1 (or both) of the embryos have implanted they will now be burrowing deeper into the lining and I’ll start to produce HCG, the pregnancy hormone. This is what gets tested for to see whether you are pregnant, and HCG should rise dramatically over the next week.

From my research of my friends that have had babies, they all say they ‘felt different’ at least a couple of days before their period was due. Slightly sick and not quite right. My period would be due on Friday, and I know its bad to pin my hopes on ‘feeling pregnant’ because everyones different, but I can’t help it - I should start feeling something around Weds. It feels like a lifetime away.

Day 13 (Wednesday)

So I’ve made it to Wednesday and I can honestly say this is turning into the longest week of my life. My husband is away for work and I have a catch up with one of my girlfriends tonight, but nothing else on this week except work. That was a mistake, I should have planned ahead and filled my nights with fun (distracting) activities.

I’m acutely aware of any twinge, ache or pain, or slight headache I vaguely experience and I go between thinking it could be a pregnancy symptom, to it’s just my hopeful imagination. Am I using the bathroom more than normal? Is my lower back slightly achey?? HAS ONE OF MY EMBRYO’S IMPLANTED?? This is hell.

Day 15 (Friday)

So technically I could do a home pregnancy test today and it would be 99% accurate (according to the box). I’m 15 days passed ovulation, so on a normal cycle I would have my period by now. But because I’m using progesterone pessaries my period will not come so I don’t have that as an indication of pregnancy failure. Just the stupid pee on a stick.

I’m working today so I can’t bring myself to test. If it’s negative i’d likely spend the whole day (unsuccessfully) holding back the tears and that’s not so professional when you have a team of 20 staff to manage.

Day 16 (Saturday)

I went to sleep last night with the pregnancy test sitting on my bedside table and the worst feeling of dread in my stomach. There is so much riding on this outcome I didn’t know how I’d sleep at all. And I didn’t much. I eventually decided to get up and test at 5:20am after multiple times watching the clock during the night and anticipating daylight. As my husband sleeps as soundly as a baby I sneak into the bathroom with the test.

I always buy the electronic tests as they give a straight ‘pregnant’ or ‘not pregnant’ answer in clear letters. None of this trying to decipher if there is a 2nd line or not. It takes about 1 min from when you pee on it to when your destiny is displayed on the little monitor. That 1 min I spend squeezing my hands together to stop them from shaking and trying not to vomit.

NOT PREGNANT

Comments